SS October: Solitude

The spiritual practice of October was solitude. Solitude turns out to be so incredibly difficult for me that I could not get myself to write an entry on it. I read some excellent chapters by wonderful authors on solitude and its fundamental nature for our spiritual formation. So I could attempt to put together an informative reflection on the importance or solitude time connecting with yourself and God as an irreplaceable spiritual practice. We have even started a course called "Emotionally Focused" which helps people who want to deal with their emotional package in order to become their better selves. I also have an incredibly supportive and intelligent spiritual director who I talk with frequently. All of these things have been of a great help, but still, solitude has been harder to practice than I was prepared to. In my struggle I've been consoled by John O'Donohue:

In fact, you need very little in order to develop a real sense of your own spiritual individuality. One of the things that is absolutely essential is silence, the other is solitude. 

Solitude is one of the most precious things in the human spirit. 

But the truth is I have never struggled with solitude as I have the past three months of my life. It has felt lonely, painful, sad and isolating. I have not wanted to spend time with myself - by myself, and wit(h-)ness this sadness. But I had to. In fact I've been forced to spend countless hours weekly alone. I have been invited to choose the spiritual practice of solitude, instead of distracting myself with a million other things that seemed easier and more reasonable things to do than to sit alone in silence. David Benner writes:

"You will never be more aware of God than you are of yourself! If this is the case, then growing in self-awareness is worth of your time and attention."  

Here is a spiritual practice of solitude that I was introduced to by a couple of spiritual directors and have been practicing daily for some weeks now: 

Close your eyes, sit (or lay down) still and take couple of deep breaths. Ask yourself what's going on inside of you. What is the thing that needs the most of your attention right now? (This could be a thought/worry, an emotion or a bodily-feeling/pain or discomfort.) And then see if you can just witness to that without analyzing or judging it. Just be present to it and offer some compassion/attention. 

It only takes a few minutes but it's a powerful practice of self-awareness and self-compassion. 

There are plenty of other "bio-spiritual" practices that I was new to. If you are like me and curious for more this could be a good place to start: Kutsu Companions.